The bunny Farm
by stewart92
Summary: To writers and others, im giving plot bunnies away here, need a story to write come on in and have a peek through. too lazy to raise them :
1. Chapter 1

Yo people.

These are going to be a collection of one-shots strung together so that my plot bunnies may FINALLY leave me alone, it's annoying you have two and the next day another one pops out of nowhere…weird

So if anyone likes these and wants to adopt one email me. And start writing.

PS. I would write them myself but like Shika would say "Troublesome"

/0\

Naruto sniggered as he added the finishing touches to the Sandaime's nose. Naruto's super special awesome prank mark 12 point 2 was his best yet.

His masterpiece was done.

Naruto couldn't believe it /pun intended\ he finally was going to show how great he was, they simply had to see now he could become Hokage now. He started to do a little jig but he didn't go overboard he need his Henge to hold up a little longer.

Naruto clamped his tongue between his teeth to stop himself from cackling, here he, Naruto Uzumaki, was doing the greatest thing in Konoha history and he was doing it all under the villagers noses and right in front of there eye's too.

The Henge, as Naruto found out, was a basic technique taught to ninja but Naruto had struggled to pull of a decent one in the beginning when he started, he was laughed at but he shrugged them off .

But Naruto trained as much as he could (which meant when he could sneak outta class and when he was suppose to be sleeping cause something as a simple henge was not keeping him back) he hit the jack pot and soon could grow a pair that made most modest women jealous (So he was told by Kiba.)

Naruto soon got bored by a simple henge, so he…._accidentally _changed the hand seals and was left with a….henge but this one to Naruto's pleasure covered the area _around_ Naruto, he thought he had done genjutsu but Naruto knew that he couldn't have done that, Naruto spend years trying to cast and detect Genjutsu, but besides henge he simply couldn't do it (Tho not by lack of trying Naruto assured people).

So Naruto didn't give it much thought and moved on.. To actually using it til he could cover the Hokage mountain, which even by his charta /Chakra\ he found it impossible to cover the entire thing with one henge, so Naruto took a step back and thought deep and hard…with Ramen.

The idea struck when Naruto was doing henge of people he knew and got frustrated with a mirror he had that he environment-henged (or E-henge for short) the mirror and was striking a pose when he was hit by the idea, the two smaller illusions had caused him far less energy to use, why? Naruto just thought it was easier to change one thing at a time and found the henge jutsu drew less energy when focused on one target and that was exactly why he used many henges where the 4 Hokages faces where.

Now Naruto was ready to reveal his great work to Konoha, as he stood up on the Sandaime's nose he closed his eyes and yelled

"KAI" at first there was silence but then…..screams were heard, yelling and a bit gasping was heard too. Naruto opened a eye and peered down at the village. Chaos ruled supreme.

Naruto stood in shock as the entire village focused on him, he had done it, he had gain respect, he had won them over, HE HAD-

"NARUTO!!"

"BRAT!"

Yells came from above, knocking Naruto off guard and sent him wobbling over the edge of the nose by reflex and blind dumb luck he had caught the edge of the right nostril of the Sandaime nose. This was it he either fell to his death or got caught by the enemy.

Naruto growled in frustration, he had been so close.

He looked up and glared at he voices which were getting closer. Naruto's temper caught up with him, Naruto sent a punch up the nostril expecting to meet hard stone resistances…but meet nothing but cold air….

Naruto looked up shocked and tried to look closer but could see nothing in the hole.

With nothing to loose Naruto heaved himself into the Sandaime's nose, he sent a apology to the old man.

/0\

The 3rd hokage Sarutobi suddenly shivered, he felt….violated.

Narrowing his eye's at the office he twitched his noise and went back to his importing work…….

"Ohh Yumi-chan is a naughty girl" he giggled at a orange covered book.

/0\

Naruto wormed his way through the tunnel that is the Sandaime's navel passage.

"How long does this go on for?" Naruto complained to himself. And promptly fell on his backside as he tripped into a small cave. It was small, it was smelly, it was…his. Naruto decided at that moment. But has he paraded around cheering, his foot caught on something.

Naruto's right foot to be precise was caught in a leather loop which was sticking out the ground. That was strange he decide as he tried to pull his foot free. Naruto's face was red as he huffed out one last breath and PULLED and his foot came free and had brought out the loop to, which was attached to another loop and that was attached to a box which was open and was showing him a book (there was other things too but the book was closer) and in black bold writing the title screamed….

"**The ninja way made easy**

**for Dobes or idiots**

**By the great ****Jiraiya**

/0\

One down another million to go

Yay


	2. Chapter 2

Here we go again

Another one already? many of you may gasp at my speed but please do not be alarmed

Enjoy

Remember if you like, email me

Chapter 1: The lady and the child

Early drops of rain that foretold a storm were dripping in slow but heavy _plop, _against the titled roof of the orphanage.

The only sound was of the uncountable raindrops hitting the solid realm of the world together with little sounds of _plats_ and the odd _plop _here and there. The sound reverberated everywhere and gathered moments later; oddly sounding like small children talking in unheard whispers.

Whispers that held the deepest secrets of the world.

Murky puddles were slowly rising in the bare dips of the grounds of the orphanage. A simple wooden gate which had several large dents and cracks in the frame and two lanterns.

It held a sign nailed to the front -unreadable from large amounts of graffiti sprayed on it- beyond the gate, a beaten path led to the a equally beaten door to the orphanage of the poorer district in Konoha.

The mistress of the orphanage -a stern proud lady who resembled an old black cat with constant annoyance on her face- going by the name of Yasei, was escorting a young figure of about four, towards the gate.

Yasei looked up at the dark sky seemly noticing for the first time the rain -now falling in cascading amounts- that no wind seem to carry them letting the rain fall at it's own pace .

Closing on the distance to the gate the Lady Yasei -only allowing her charges to call her that- slowed to a few steps and then stopped, the boy who didn't stop fast enough bumped into her frayed white slacks.

Now facing her took a few hesitating steps towards her, only to quickly recoil as she reached into her trench coat to pull out something.

As the young boy fell backwards into a puddle, the lanterns which hung off wooden poles at the gate -mostly broken and vandalised too- showed bright blond hair though now covered in mud, leaves and small stones.

Also the dim light revealed tanned skin, tattered clothing, three identical scars that covered his both his face cheeks -to look like whiskers of some feline- ; the light barley revealing a pair of brilliant sapphire coloured eyes now ruined by the look of fear and horror.

The lady Yasei -if realised what was going on either didn't know or didn't care- had found what she appeared to have been looking for.

With a grunt she pulled a handle out of her coat to reveal an umbrella, the boy now sagged his shoulders down in relief but tensed again when he spied the metal tip that the umbrella adorned.

The lady Yasei prompted the umbrella up causing small streams of water to fall at each side causing her to have a some what ethereal effect on her but it didn't stay long as she kneeled down to the ground and opened her mouth but closed it again.

Yasei started to frown at something on the ground; the boy -who was also looking- saw something that caused confusion to him. The lady Yasei's shadow was going towards the lanterns.

Seeing this, the lady turned towards the orphanage she had her back to and tried not to smile but she smiled anyway.

She didn't smile a toothy smile or a wide smile, just a curve at the tips of her mouth.

The boy -now staring open mouthed- saw that every balcony, every window, every door and even the roof were filled with children.

Children of every size and of every age and colour stood at some opening to the outside world.

Some were dressed in nice and soft clothes, others barley covered in rags. They were standing there looking at the two people out in a quiet storm, when the Lady and the child turn to look at them from on the fast-flooding ground below, they bowed their head, out of respect or acknowledgment the lady wasn't sure.

Not all children did this some just stared, others just scoffed at them.

The lady Yasei turned back to the boy and very suddenly and very quiet in a soft but demanding voice said "You have to leave child you know this, I know this, even they know this." nodding her head at children in the brightly lit building.

"I have held this off to the last possible moment and it can wait no longer." she stated without emotion that seemed forced, the young child could only reply with a nod.

The lady sighed and questioned "Do you know why I must do this my boy?" The person in question could have answered, he knew why, how could he not know? Almost every night they come banging at the door crying

"Come out demon!"

"Open up we are here to kill the monster!"

It echoed through out the building and sometimes when they did get in -they were often stopped by people who appeared out of no were-(1) they destroyed everything in the search for the whiskered child and left in the next hour leaving behind the ruining crumbling (sometimes smoking) building.

The boy nodded, the lady Yasei seeing this let herself feel somewhat relief that see didn't need to explain, looking up at the dark iron sky and then back down said with much energy as she could muster

"I can't keep doing this child, the budget we have hardly covers our essential needs I can't keep buying new doors and windows and floors and roofs. Living together like this is not cheap these days especially if the person who destroyed our roof the night before is the one now the one fixing it today….it cant keep going like this not anymore I have here.."

She trailed off here sobs coming from here quickly fading charge trying to and fail to say something only managing a "Sorry" before becoming incoherent.

Crouching down and becoming face-level with him and then embracing him, whispering words of comfort calming the distraught child.

"It's ok my child let loose your tears and let the rain wash them away" she murmured into his hair while cradling him.

Once calmed, the boy stood embarrassed by the loss of control of himself.

Stammering apologies, she smiled a sad smile nothing big just a twitch at the corner of her mouth.

She stood up smoothed out her white blouse and slacks and stated once again "As I was saying I have supplies here for you."

She pulled out a small backpack in his favourite colour -which was oddly enough orange- he looked at one of his first true gifts, nothing extraordinary stood out about it, beside it was the colour of orange.

The handles were looped through plastic buckles which were sewn around the top to make the flap and a metal zipper that was rusty, hung at the end of a zipper line, inside was different, two pockets were sewn to one side that held two standard combat kunai and normal kitchen knifes, underneath folded at the bottom was spare shirts and t-shirts and others which varied from red to blue to yellow and so on, below that trousers, pants and shorts were neatly folded and below that.. Something laid folded.

He looked up at lady Yasei shocked "Why?" He half demanded, half pleaded

Yasei only smiled that small twitch of hers and said "Think of it as a gift… I think you can find a better use for it now."

Yasei looked far past the gate as she said this. She continued "Beside that you will find a first aid kit…"

The boy scoffed at this, the lady rose an eyebrow at this "And what is wrong with that?" she questioned him.

The boy said with a tone that revealed nothing "I can't be hurt"

The lady knew what he was talking about and felt a head ache coming on. Yasei took a few seconds to think of a comeback that would end this peacefully.

She opened her mouth to reply to the now brooding child "But you can boy, just like me and them."

The boy looked over, most children had gone in but some were still, there clung to the soak railing or damp wall staring at the child that was to leave and the lady that was seeing him off.

The boy said in a hushed angered tone "Yes but theirs stay, mine goes away, gone like I had never been burned in the first place or cut to the bone, just like that" The boy waved his arm: to mock show amazement "mine vanish in seconds!"

By now he was shouting. The boy looked angry at her and as he opened his mouth to shout some more, he stopped and suddenly his head slumped forwards on his shoulders lowering them, making him seem defeated in someway.

The lady Yasei soothed him "My boy you must leave and take the first aid kit I rather you have it and not need it, as to need it but not have it okay?"

He nodded "Also I have gave you some food, nothing fancy to take with you and finally a key to the door around the back encase you need to talk to me, now you must go before someone sees you, now go now!"

And abruptly she stood up and turned away and walked back towards the orphanage.

Yasei could not believe she had sent a four year old child on a trip to such a place. If he survived the boy will be out for her blood but it didn't matter he'll be safe from the villagers and that was all that mattered.

Yasei felt guilty, she hadn't said goodbye.

The Lady was not one for goodbyes anyway, Yasei told that to herself many times but it never felt like this before, never was she doing the abandoning it felt and stank of irony_:_ _Good luck kid you will need: _and flicked back her raven hair and disappeared still thinking of the boys location and destination _:Hmm good luck in surviving in…_

He still stood at the gate clutching the lady's… his new backpack it felt weird to have been given something without being shot looks of pity or hatred. He looked up at his ex-home the lady was already gone he bowed his head in at building and with turned around with one destination…

_: The Famous Training ground 44: the forest of death:_

The boy was in a state of mind that to his dieing day he still wondered how he manage to think through the constant shifting of emotions that had now gripped his mind with cold bony fingers that burned and froze him at the precise timing and at the same time navigate his way through the village unseen (he hoped), he had learned at a younger age, some people had many ways of seeing things he didn't want to be seen, much like now but before the consequences of being seen where embarrassing at most and risk-free "_Mostly_" he though with bitter memories oozing from darkest recesses of his mind.

Almost everyone knew that in the great hidden ninja village of Konoha that the clans were most powerful, for how they knew that the boy didn't know and right now he didn't want to know, the most arguable powerful clans were Hyuga Preaching_ idiots:_ and the Uchiha: Cocky_ nimrods:_ because they both have one thing in common besides being arrogant, they have bloodlines.

Bloodlines the boy learned was a special ability that could only be used by the people of the same family, abilities that appeared in the eye was most respected in Konoha

_: Those stupid eyes of theirs, should be called cheating and banned!:_ the Byakugan and the Sharingan were the bane of his early pranking career, never had he escaped a Hyuga because of the all-seeing-eyes which could see in every direction and through most solid objects including people, it was only once when he said to a random lady that the Hyuga behind he in the queue was seeing threw her clothes.

And the Uchiha's eye could slow down everything they could see making enemies easier to predict what he was going to do with their eyes and copy and counter him every time, it frustrated him.

As he was walking down the mud covered path keeping his locked eyes behind him and ears trying to make out any sound from the constant rain. He didn't know how long he was walking minutes, hours? Not much was visible through the rain so he had no warning when he went smack straight into a fence, rubbing his now red nose; he looked at his fence which had just caused him bodily harm.

Nothing exciting about just pole upon pole of barbed wire and lots of buildings behind it, climbing the over the pole he walked forward a few steps and stopped the rain had abruptly stopped, cracking a grin he walked back to the fence and got pelt by rain again shocked and surprised he fell back wards and the rain stopped again, when he looked towards the fence his face morphed into awe, the rain had not stop falling but had halted just before the fence and it was not going past the fence the boy re-set his backpack and looked up seeing the building had some sort of blanket almost like a…., his jaw dropped, the large object behind him wasn't a building but a tree.

It was so big that top acted like a huge umbrella keeping the ground below it dry. As he looked about he saw entire row of these trees which blank what was behind them in shadow, this was what the lady Yasei said would be here, but he expected far smaller trees than this.

Still this was his going to be his home and: _damn good one too: _he though happiness seeping through him as he walked forward he swore that he would make this his home or he would die trying after all if he didn't then his name wouldn't be…

Uzumaki Naruto.

Peace Stewart92


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